gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
