she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
How's work?
Spinning.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
