If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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