Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
