Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
