Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
