We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
