Sponge bath it is.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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