Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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