So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
