I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
