dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
