There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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