I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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