a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
