Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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