Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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