is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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