3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Randomize
