her vagine was all disorganized.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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