you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
this boner is exhausting
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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