i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
