i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Let's paint friendship bongs
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
