It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
