I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
