she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
