So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I wear drunk well.
You did what with his pubic hair?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
