Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
