My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
