Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
