marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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