Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
