He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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