If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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