I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
