it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
