Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
