I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
