i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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