There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
