Redeem this text for a blowjob
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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