Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
