Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
