I'm lost and stupid without you.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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