My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
