I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
