He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
