maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
