I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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