This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
