I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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